so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
