i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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