covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize