i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
