I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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