Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
