Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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