so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
