im drinking this country out of the recession.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
