we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
