I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize