the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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