I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
