What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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