Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
