Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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