My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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