you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
