Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
