So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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