my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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