brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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