You really coming over, don't trick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize