dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
