u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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