It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
