If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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