like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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