My pussy is not your playground.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize