i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
