He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
