He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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