I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
