32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
