I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
