I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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