yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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