i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
