yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
