I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
