She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
