I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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