dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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