Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize