Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
