Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
