dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
