That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
