Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize