The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
