he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
