Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
