Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
