I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
