yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
