just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
