Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
