im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
