those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
